Rejection
Angelia Graphenreed
Rejection manifests itself in the lives of its victims, seemingly without inhibition. That line makes it sound like a person. Though it is not a person, it is a spirit; a powerful one I might add. Rejection is defined as: (n) a negative response. I am not at all an English Instructor, but a (n) noun is defined as a person, place, or thing. So even in definition is personified. Why? Because of all the sprits, this is the one that takes on a life of its own. Though it rises up within an individual, in time if not dealt with or dealt with deeply enough, it will fully take control.
Rejection often begins when you’re young. It may stem from sibling rivalry or from the cruelty of children we went to school with. Or perhaps you were or are considered the “black sheep” of your family. Are you being passed up for job, interview after interview? Maybe it’s for a promotion on the job you work now. Let’s go deeper. It can manifest in relationships or lack there of because someone doesn’t reciprocate what you feel. Let’s not forget the matter of “church hurt”. Rejection rears its ugly head in all of these areas within our lives.
The root of rejection is “hurt”. We are hurt when we don’t feel the love and appreciation that we feel we ought to receive. Hurt is a strong root, an emotion of the heart. Because it’s so strong it binds and anchors the mind. As rejection situations arise, more roots stretch forth. The disagreement that you had with your Mother replays in your mind until the enemy convinces you that she is responsible for the shade of sheep you are. Your brother or sister, who has so many accomplishments under his or her belt, may have the tendency to say things that draw you to a belittled state of being. My, how the anchor holds. It is so easy to allow others to make you feel less than. But in God we are not inferior beings at all. In Him we live and move and have our being. We have nothing to be ashamed of whether we are someone’s less than favorite or if we have not made the great accomplishment of obtaining titles and degrees. Isaiah 50:7 tells us that, “The Lord God will help me; therefore I will not be disgraced; Therefore I have set my face like a flint, and I know that I will not be ashamed.”
Flint is stone often used to make spear tips and cutting tools; sharp, smooth, and strong. With God on our side and by side, we have no need to allow people to affect us. The enemy is oh so aware of our weaknesses. Once he comes to the realization that he can used people to hurt you, he will forever attempt to d this. I deliberately used the word attempt, because at some point, we have become aware of his devices so that they no longer have an affect or not nearly as much of an affect as they once had. We simply have work to reach a place in God where we have the ability to “shake” things off.
As I stated above, not only our natural birth family are used to cause us to feel this way, we come in contact with those who become intimate parts of our lives or those who find their way to a special place in our hearts. When these relationships don’t work out the way we had planned, we are often left to feel abandoned, betrayed, dismissed, and often times, utterly destroyed. Emotions can run high when dealing relationships. Regardless of what may have caused disagreement and/or separation, from experience, I have learned that we can not allow it to ride our backs throughout our lives. If there is a problem solve it or let it go. Then it is dead. If it is a relationship that is deemed “over”, then it too has become a dead issue. The word tells us that if we remain attached to that which is dead, in time its diseased infestation will bring death to you as well. Therefore it is imperative that we release dead issues that plague the mind because they will eventually affect the heart. There are many who were affected so greatly till they reached a point of no return. I say that concerning those who fell into drugs and alcohol as a means of treatment to soothe their pain; as a result lost their lives. Marilyn Monroe, Elvis Pressley, David Ruffin, to name a few. These are a few of those who were acquainted with who God is, but never managed to get to know Him in his fullness. They, instead of turning to Him for refuge and restoration, turned to drugs and alcohol, which inevitably led to their very destruction. To anyone who is reading this and does not know the Lord in His fullness (has a personal relationship with Him and knows who is completely), get to know Him. Only He can restore you to wholeness and repair the breach in your heart and soul caused by the pain and suffering of rejection. To those who know Him but may be experiencing temptation to or have turned to some sort of substance to help you deal with the trials and tribulations you are experiencing in life, remember that God is our Rock and our Salvation. Psalm 91:1-6, “He who dwells in the secret place of the most high shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in Him will I trust” Surely He will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. You will not fear the terror by night nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks at mid-day.
Now, let’s add the elements of job and the church. I have found that these two have a lot in common when it comes to rejection. In both, you may deal with issues of being accepted, appreciated, over-looked, suppressed, being talked about and ridiculed, gossip, slander, and last but probably the most detrimental, competition. All of these shoot major blows to self-esteem. Both of these are places where we go fro growth. We employ with companies hoping to climb the proverbial ladder to elevate in our careers. We hope and pray that we will be appreciated and accepted by our peers and that our superiors will see in us what we are aware that we possess; that which will benefit the company and workforce as a whole; only to be passed up for promotions, the brunt of jokes during lunch, the element of gossip in phone conversations.
The same, unfortunately, also happens in the church. Certainly it is not what God intended to happen in the church, but often times we find ourselves in situations where we do not feel the love and acceptance that the church should offer regardless of whether you are coming to Christ anew or coming from another ministry. The church may have stood in judgment, being critical of every aspect of your life. Maybe you found yourself growing in the Lord only to have a lid seemingly placed atop of you. Or either you had to deal with a fellow minister of the Gospel or choir member who tried to compete with you in every way; perhaps making false accusations and innuendos; attempting to squash your spiritual existence. Maybe you were or are being overlooked. Yes, unfortunately t his does go on in the church. Again I remind of Psalm 91, it also reassures us not to fear the enemy as well. In dealing with these and many other issues, God has your back. You have nothing to prove. Don’t ever compare yourself to anyone else. Everyone is different. Everyone has their own style of presentation. Everyone has their own voice, gifting, and abilities. You are you. The sooner you come to accept that the better off you be; the happier you’ll be. Keep in mind that the stone that the builder’s rejected has become the Chief Cornerstone. So as we often hear, “Be not dismayed.” When the rejected, learn to turn a deaf ear to the opinions and critiques of others the leave a negative residue, and stop judging themselves by the accomplishments of others, the rejected can then come to the realization that other people are not like them, they don’t think like them, don’t act the way they would act, nor will someone necessarily say what it is that they would say, then they could learn to accept others for who they are and not be affected by who they are.
My point is this: Be You. Live You. Love You. God does. That is why He chose you. If you become someone else, what then? If you allow someone to recreate into them, He may as well use them. Are they already being used? He certainly doesn’t need two of them in any case. Unique, the rejected tend to be unique people. When you are unique, you stand out. That’s guaranteed. There is nothing that you can do to change it. Work with it. Let it work for you. You will no longer suffer from rejection when you accept yourself.
Angela for being a blessing!
God bless you and your ministry!
Metamorphosis Ministry
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